He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
