do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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