What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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