I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
