I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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