Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
