Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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