I hate your face
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
