her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
