covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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