You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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