I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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