90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
