i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
