The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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