In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
