Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
