I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
