Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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