very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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