4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize