I think I am morally bankrupt
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
