Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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