Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
