Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My hand turned me down
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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