Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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