You can't motorboat a personality
I think I am morally bankrupt
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
