sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
