they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
