Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
All the doctor said was why
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
