There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
