we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
