Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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