So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
