i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
