just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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