My nipple is on Facebook.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize