I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
