those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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