too bad you live with your parents still
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
