Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
