Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is it because I queefed?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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