Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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