Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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