i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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