She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
