Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
