I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
