I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
