Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
