Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
