So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
