The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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