i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he fucked my hip out of place.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
