He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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