508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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