I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
