Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize