You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
