who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
