My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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