I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
