dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
